This year the weather was cold and rainy for Walk To Remember. Many people decided not to attend or to leave early. As Dustin put it, "We weren't given a choice of losing our daughter. We are given a choice to honor and remember her". I couldn't have said it better. We battled the elements, bundling up in layers, jackets, hats, gloves, and ponchos. Thank you, Grandma Sue and Aunt Suzy for toughing it out along side us.
It was, as expected, an emotional and beautiful event. Listening to others stories brought up many old feelings: blissful ignorance (how I miss you!), happiness, anticipation, confusion, brokenheartedness, devastation, defeat, sadness, anger, frustration, detachment, hopelessness, loneliness. It also brought up new feelings: fear, anxiety, panic, obsessiveness, dread, impending doom. Underlining every feeling is love. It always amazes me how different each stories is, yet the love and feelings are the same.
After the walk Brooklyn's M.C. Pizza offered 50% of sales to benefit WTR. A local (not a chain) dive restaurant, good food, not having to cook, and benefiting WTR I couldn't resist. We filled our bellies with cheesy garlic bread and calzones. For dinner we took home eat eggplant pizza and cannoli. All of the food was delicious. Tatum thought the sauce was so good she drank it.
Dustin and I are careful what we say in Tatum's presence so we were surprised on the way home when she told us "We lost Payton. She has wings in Heaven. Everyone has wings in Heaven. They can fly all around". Dustin asked how she knew Payton had wings. She answered, "She told me".
Cold, wet, and emotionally drained we spent the rest of the day snugging in bed watching movies. As is every day, Payton was in our thoughts.
