First Day

always posing
 



Her teacher gave each child one to give to their parents. I love it.
Ms. Hickey might be may favorite teacher ever!

Tatum did great on her first morning of kindergarten, no surprise. She smiled and waved as her teacher walked the class into the building. For the most part Dustin and I held it together until she was out of sight. I did get choked up reading a note to her before placing it in her lunchbox. She was so excited to have her first lunch note. This afternoon I am going to surprise her with a Grandma-Mommy-Daughter ice cream date to celebrate her first day. I think she will be excited.

 As Dustin and I were standing there waiting to see her walk into school I realized only 13  years before she leaves for college and that she is Not going away for college. There are plenty of decent community colleges in the metro area she will attend. 

Later as I signed Brock in at daycare I realized, today August 21^st is three years and seven months after losing Payton and starting kindergarten is yet another milestone she will not have. Honesty I have been trying to act so excited for and proud of Tatum I have not thought about my future kindergarteners. I have not thought about Payton never going to kindergarten or the sadness of never watching her on her first day of school. I also have not thought about the joy of seeing Brock on his first day. The realizations were overwhelming.  I really need to get use to ‘firsts’ being associated with such happiness and sadness. But how?

Already August?

This year has gone by so fast and been so hectic. I cannot keep up. I keep telling myself everything will slow down after this or after that. But it never does. In one week Tatum and Brock caught the flu, one of our dogs started having seizures, we had several hundred dollars’ worth in repairs on both cars, and a toilet broke causing damage to flooring. Seriously that was one single week. The rest of the year has been much of the same. Yet, it has not all been bad. There have been many positives sprinkled in here and there… Tatum graduated preschool, Brock has become quite the charmer and climber, Dustin and I are teaching Sunday School together, and Dustin accepted a dean position. Yet, the biggest news of all is Tatum starts kindergarten next week.

I cannot believe my baby is old enough to be in kindergarten. It feels like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. I cry every time I think of her starting school. She is a little scared because the school is so big (it is a k-8 so it really is a big school) but she will do fine. I am more worried about Dustin and I… we are going to cry like babies. This morning she had her kindergarten assessment. As her teacher was walking her out of the classroom Tatum loudly states, “School isn’t so bad after all”. Oh my, this is going to be an interesting school year J!

Two Teeth Monster

2013 Hopes

Months ago I promised I'd catch up on posts but that isn't happening. And honestly I don't want to relive most of 2012. It was an unbelievable year. I'm glad it’s over. But I cannot pretend the year didn't happen. So here is a little bit and how I'm hopeful 2013 will be better.

2012 was a difficult year on my marriage. Dustin and I were separated for about six months. Even after we reconciled there were many moments I wasn't sure how long we could continue the way we were. Our relationship still has a lot of repairing and healing to do, but hopefully we are on the right path in 2013.

2012 was busy for Tatum. Last spring she participated in our church Cherub Choir. In April the choir had a concert (which was simply two songs sung at the beginning of service). On the way home from rehearsal she said, "I'm so excited. It was my first time ever on stage but I didn’t get my own microphone". Always the performer ☺! She also started Irish dance lessons. Over the summer she had swim lessons, soccer camp, and Vacation Bible School. In the fall she played in Lil' Kickers soccer league and started preschool. Oh, I forgot to mention she also continued gymnastics lessons. She loves them all, but in 2013 I hope to limit the amount of activities she participates in. I think it might be too much for a five-year-old. Honestly, all the driving her around is too much for me.

2012 was a different kind of busy for Brock, developmental busy. Rolling, sitting, crawling, cruising, playing peep-a-boo and other social games; all the things babies do in the first year. I was basically a single parent for half of 2012 so I didn't have time or energy physically or emotionally to fully enjoy watching him grow. I wish I could slow down his growth in 2013, not by much, just enough that I can enjoy his babyness longer. Since that cannot happen, I hope to enjoy all his little moments as he grows.

At the end of spring 2012 part of my job responsibilities changed. At first I was grateful. More busyness = less time to think. However, as time pasted so did my appreciation. I'm often behind, which stresses me out. I'm hoping 2013 will bring a new job in the form of a school social worker position. Prayers please!

In late 2012 Dustin and I attended Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It forced me to look at our finances, or should I say financial messes. In 2013 I hope to get gazelle intense with budgeting and getting out of the debt hole we created.